The player since 1995

A great advert.

I would like to introduce myself as a keen gamer, I have enjoyed gaming all my life. I just love it so much, my life is one big game. I even play paper, scissor, stone against the Mrs in an attempt to avoid doing the washing up.

I am a lost love of Sony PlayStation. I was with PlayStation, I used to enjoy battling out debates over which was the better console, for many years I stuck by PlayStation.  Sadly around 2007 time, a lost debate resulted with me getting myself the Xbox 360 and that has where I have been until now.

Now I am currently floating between platforms, stuck on whether to go back to PlayStation or to stay with Xbox. Although for now I do not have enough knowledge on the new consoles and what they offer to make that decision – feel free to educate me. I am happy to say I have had amazing experiences with them both and I am sure the next toe to toe launch will be pretty exciting for both parties.

I am currently a floater as I have not yet made up my mind.  So what better time than for Sony to launch a great advert that has successfully got my attention, I was hooked by the amount of information and how clever the artist put the ad together – I loved it.

I loved it that much I spent a whole night watching it over and over again to pick the ad apart as I was guided all over the internet. I would like to share some of what I spotted over the few times of watching, this ad was not only about the success of the PlayStation, but Sony as a whole. The whole add was a journey as I spent the whole night remembering all kinds of lost treasures and relearning what I had forgotten.

Straight away in frame 001 we are bombarded with loads of great information to educate ourselves with.

001 print screen

Red circle – blur PARK LIFE – what a great tune, enough said!

Blue circle – Crash Bandicoot, I remember this game.

Violet circle – not sure of this character – take the screen shot and zoom in if you have an inclination.

Red square – 10 of hearts Sony symbolizing what has, what is and what's to come?

Yellow Square - This looks like a black suit and I am betting it is the 8 of clubs after a little research.

Yellow rectangle – Possibly the Tekken characters. The first game I remember playing on the PlayStation apart from being fascinated by the moving Manta-ray on the dash board, or was it a shark?

Then camera then heads down toward the game set up.

• Come In we're open sign underneath a world map,
• There is a black circle image of a red face with soul something written in yellow, maybe a game I have no knowledge of.
• You then see a red sign saying exit pointing up. Heaven ? direction of company after advert?

006 print screen - What do you see?

Blue Square - INTENT written upside down

Red Square - Forzor is this the Driving game?

Green Circle - Multi tap I think the name was, I had one of these - used to connect more than two controllers.

There are various games on the floor, unable to identify any of them and a NME music magazine, don't recognize picture. Nice rug.

The moving picture then heads towards the door, where we see a a red box with Sony DX, I did a quick search on Google and maybe an old phone or camera.

• We see a blue Adidas bag  with their older symbol just peeking hidden in the closet. A good friend of Sony perhaps? Maybe using the crown symbol to symbolize something. The thing with adverts, everything is relevant. 

• Hanging off of the closet door we see a school shirt with tie

• A dominoes pizza box? on the floor sitting on a magazine with 'THE PACK' just visible. Domino appearing a few times through the advert, must be ad within an ad. I did a quick search on the words THE PACK. Maybe an inside joke to Domino about a promise. Interested on your views - if any.

• There's a black box with a yellow triangle on, quickly got bored finding significance behind this, plus leave some enjoyment for you.
• The door where we get a glimpse of some Bryl cream on the chest of draws, a guitar sat on a chair underneath a poster.

018 what do you see?

Red square - Band Air- sexy boy  the poster shows a monkey of I love moon,Track 2 Moon being the debut album Moon Safri.

• Dart board on the door, stuck with darts to the dart board is card paper with purple cross?
• A boy in red top enters pulls a face does something with his hand, a girl behind. 
• Against the wall is a bike. 
• There is a signs on the door saying keep out warning do not enter.
• The  girl is wearing a scarf and laces are undone, fashion then?

The camera then goes low and back up toward the mirror above the chest of draws,

• The boy fiddle with his hair, I now see a brick of a  phone - possible the Sony DX?
• There's a cup with funny character, I do not recognise.
• There's a medal of some kind hanging off mirror?
• There is a black hat red symbol red drink bottle underneath
• We then more back round to the left, where we see a red hat on some nice looking decks.
• A heart picture on the wall with  a red hat - Jungle something with a picture full of triangles
• and is that a father Christmas playing with the knobs of the decks -Hiya Santa, Message by Sony to get those Decks for my Mrs at Christmas?

The camera then moves over the closet where we see a shirts squiggle with writing, at frame 031 I could only make out a heart shape on the arm. 

039 what do you see?

Yellow Square - we see a PLACEBO poster half visible. Simply an amazing band.

  I actually took a break to watch cruel intentions at this point.

• Two guys, one with a comb lodged in his hair? wearing an Adidas top

 The camera moves back round to the TV screen-  they are playing Tekken 

• At 1.01 we get a good look at the union jack flag, great to see the artist promoting Great Britain we then go round to the window and see fireworks? year 2000 perhaps? stuff disappear from the window ledge. a maroon jacket appears

Camera moves towards the door and we have some dice hanging from the door.

• top dice has a 1 at the top 5 bottom left and 4 bottom right
• bottom dice has 6 at the bottom, a 1 top left and a 3 top right

Bike still there, now we have a picture on the wall-  new wall paper on the corridor wall.

 01:13 we see a Kasabian poster- an amazing band again - I enjoyed researching these a little.

There is so much information to look into, but I am sure you get the drift on how deep one can look into things. I will just end with showing the few screen shots I captured. Please let me know if you choose to have a look yourself  and find anything you think may be interesting.

Also take note that each time you reach the window, in the background we see the Gherking building, The shard and  The Red Arrows.

01:24 what do you see

Blue circle - Franz Ferdinan  never heard of him search for him listen to a few songs quite diverse range differently interesting

01:46 What do you see?

Blue circle - an eye is always watching.

Green Circle - Tringe I did a quick Google there's a festival called The Tringe.

Yellow Circle - Another Kasabian poster

0201

We have lynx deodorant next to a boost energy drink? a message perhaps? more energy you say?

I don't know what the poster is.
Who's the man in the picture?

I really enjoyed studying this advert and learning from it. This is just a fraction of what can be found, I simply got tired of documenting what I found, but I can ensure you the search is amazing if you look into anything with this kind of eye. You will come across all kinds of wonderful information, so my intent here is to congratulate the artists who put this advert together and to raise some questions and interest into actually what our sub-conscience is fed in any given moment. This was just on the visual, then to walk with you through the sound would be a whole different kettle of fish. One sound that sticks though was - here we go!  a recording sound clip I remember from Ridge Racer.



Happy hunting and thank you for any interest.

Fear not.

“Your soul needs saving,” the man said.

The man had told him about all these aliens and how the government was hiding stuff from people, about how currently there was a massive alien ship above one of the poles and how everyone was a sleep to what’s really going on, all this happening according to this man.

He remembers how passionate the man sounded; the man’s face was drawn in with worry and the flat that the man occupied felt very lonely. The man made him promise that he would look up some information on the internet regarding it all.

 “I do not mean to be rude,” he said to the man looking around at the state of his accommodation. “But how has the truth benefited you.”

The man looked him in the eyes and said, “Because it’s the truth; the truth is beautiful and will set you free.” This was how the quest started...

A year or so later, he sat , frustrated, with his elbows on his knees, his head perched on his hands, thinking, massaging his temples. 

“What am I missing? What am I not seeing? I will not give up! I know I am close!”

Earlier that day he had spoke to a physic, it was said he was going to come into a great fortune - how though? They even said that he would be moving soon, as great as that sounded, he could not see that happening. As he sat there wandering about all the information he had taken in over the year, his head began to buzz, a loud plane simultaneously sounded flying low above his home, the music in the background come into ear shot, as if nothing else existed, the music spoke to him. He recognised the album; it was Gnarls Barkley – St. Elsewhere, he had downloaded in search for the song, ‘Crazy,’ a while back, one of his favourite songs, popular when he had met the love of his life.

The digital screen displayed – Track 10, who cares.  He stared at the screen and smiled at the titled, and then the words suddenly became relevant with his thoughts – everything became relevant.

Basically I'm complicated

I have a hard time taking the easy way

I wouldn't call it schizophrenia

But I'll be at least 2 people today

If that's okay

And I can go on and on and on... but who cares?

It's deep how you can be so shallow

And I'm afraid cause I have no fear

And I didn't believe in magic

Until I watched you disappear

“And I’m afraid cause I have no fear!” he repeated to himself. “That’s it! That is why I feel the way I do.”

He had done so much research and everything just raised more questions, with no absolute truth and the best way to approach most of it was to consider it all half truth, well at least that's what he thought.  All of this information had come from thought, so it had been created from something, there had to be some truth in it- Surely! He had concluded and based all his actions on this very fact, that everything was controlled by fear, and countless spiritual information researched had confirmed this, you know the people that give the impression that they know and that you do not know and to be patient and to face up to all your fears.

He’s head buzzed louder, and his heart began to palpitate.  His heart had been acting weird for a while. He then thought back at how his whole life had turned upside down, it was the day when he’d met that man. It was no good regretting looking this information up though, because it was in his nature, he had always been a very curious fellow. Curious was the friend that made him tick, that motivated him to move forward – that there was something to find. AS the lyrics connected to his mind, the ambience of the room darkened.

“And I’m afraid cause I have no fear!” he reminded.        

“I need to create a fear! I have no fear, so I need one. I need one that I can hit two birds with one stone, this will surely help me understand why so many people become so suppressed by this feeling of fear and then write about it and try help all of humanity from out of it.” He smiled as if onto a new breakthrough.

For a while now, he had written a lot of thoughts down, his thoughts had been rather rushed, very fast and hard to express in words – and writing was no strong point of his.  He, before this journey began was no literate – he was more of a calculated man, the fact that any equation only resulted with one answer was what he liked. English was different; two people could discuss a topic and have opposite opinions and both still be correct according to numerous language tutors and this made no sense.

His thoughts became rather strange, sometimes even conflicting, as if he was having a conversation with a separate quite self that had sprang to life by the very seed of wanting to create some fear.

“So if you are going to create fear, you need it to be purposeful!”

“I read that allot of places suggest that  the more you think about something, the more you will attract it.”

“You want money don’t you? Think about all the changes you can bring! Think about all those poor people you can help! That physic said you were going to come into great fortune! Maybe this is what you have to do, you know-to trigger this wealth off.”

He was excited pacing up and down the room – as if he had just plugged his mind into a massive matrix and an expensive package of intense thought had been purchased, a download of gold – his eyes warmed in their sockets, his backbone became light and now his was on his way to enlightenment – to truth, ironically the album had performed a full cycle and track 2 was now playing – Crazy.

Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are,

Ha ha ha bless your soul

You really think you're in control

Well, I think you're crazy

I think you're crazy

I think you're crazy

Just like me

“OK, I am to create the Fear of having too much money!”  He said out loud. “I think I understand – what I think about I attract – I suppose???”

After this intense download of thought stopped, it was as if he had just woken from a hypnotic trance. His head felt light, the ambience of the room lightened and eagerly awaited for a response.

“So let me get this right, I create a fear of having too much money and I have to write it in that exact way I just envisioned, and this will create fear within all the greedy! Everyone that reads it, but will only work on those that deserve it –  sound genius- of course – but wait….!!!?????”

He stroked his chin, as if about to make the biggest decision of his life- he had to consider that his life was great, why change it? Maybe this was the fear talking already, conflicting thoughts again - perhaps trying to convince him not to step one more step – not to be fooled…and then.

“Yes of course- I accept!” an impulse cry out with joy.

“Oh yes…I didn't think about that…erm…Yes sure makes sense.” He muttered. He was answering to the thoughts that followed, the ones that said

“Surely the one creating the fear, should experience it for themselves before creating for everyone else to experience.”

At that very thought of agreeing, a roaring silence popped his ear drums, a shivering whistle echoed out the window and clinched with a coincidental knock to the door that shock his body, like he had just awakened from a dream.

“WoooW what just happen – what did I just agree to…” terrifying thoughts of making some kind of pact gripped his body, “- shhh this is the fear- just love it- fear is just unknown love – the best way to defeat it is to shine love on it- stop panicking – it’s not like you just made a deal with the devil ….. ” a calm thought massaged his shoulders like a coach easing him into the ring.

Another knock sounded.

He opened the door; it was his love, the love of his life; the love that had brought balance to his reality when he was getting into all kind of mischief - 6 years ago.

His love looked as if under a kind of trance, possibly already drunk. His love was with company and brought a board game round. They sat around the table, rolled the dice and the game began.

“This is it, be loving.” He thought to himself as he peered into the entities that surrounded him. Maybe it was because they were all under the influence of the shots of spirits consumed prior to knocking - perhaps? or maybe it was his whole perception had changed – anyhow everything seemed different – like something had altered.

Any time he felt this fear knocking at his door, he focused on his love sitting right beside him.  The smile, the glow of happiness emanating from his loves aura. There was a thundering noise erupting upstairs, it was the children and they were doing a great job of making a lot of scary noises considering the moment – they were screaming.  Anyone would of thought there was some kind of slaughter happening the way they were acting.

“Just ignore it, it's you trying to lower your vibration, the mind playing tricks- that's all, they’re kids and just playing a game” he thought. “Stop reading into everything.”

He sat staring at his love, watching love struggling with the many questions being asked. He then thought that he could perhaps not show his love up by speaking out right, but just look at love and silently tell love the answer. It worked. Love was now getting the questions correct, though this seem to create a tense atmosphere, was his love here to help him through this period of fear or was he here to help his love through fear. He tried his best not to think too hard, and decided to channel all his thoughts into helping love to answer up, then love turned and said.

“Why don’t you go work your magic on the, kids.”

“WoW," he thought.  "Does my love know I am doing this."

He climbed the stairs. At the top was an angel, the unconditional love that any parent has. 

"When we close our eyes! she is dead!" all of the children said the same thing.

Was this a coincidence, had inviting this fear into his life affected everyone. His heart gave three elongated beats. Worry swept his body. He had to think fast, he had accepted to experience this - but he didn't know it would effect everyone and now he had to correct it. It was not fair that his children were suffering with horrible thoughts. Everything became very loud and he become  scared.

"What have I done?" he said. "Oh god, please help me, I never meant to hurt anyone"

Love and I

I am no shy when you caught the eye,

I see you that night with another,

I watched, I waited for the perfect time,

I knew you were the one I waited to discover

I suggested blue wicked thinking of funny price,

I split into you; one took over hogwash the other stuck in trice,

I done the start stop on how best to work the charm,

This was it my love written in palm,

I watch you laugh at me speak my drivel joke,

Yes a challenge; some friction and smoke,

Wow you were in a disguise and I a sex pest,

6 months later the pregnancy test,

Shock and horror a message from god,

I knew not know emotion so my back I created a rod,

I had to retreat and left as cold as ice,

Why us I say in anger, so I rolled the dice,

We were no more, because I walked, I chose the door.

Few time past and we bumped online

There’s that feeling again love is a swine

We agreed to meet and I wasted no dreading

Whilst in Cyprus you traded your dream for a cheap lousy wedding

You stuck it through though and looks are deceiving

4 born 6 years later and I am still not a leaving.

I open up and I showed you my bad side,

You don’t know who I am, you are still tied,

I now look a mess and been through the ringer,

This love I am stuck in is like a right winger,

I am in a valley and please hurry I am in no dilly dally,

I know not all is clear my dear, at times you fear,

I will always fight I am not going back to the rear,

Some say I am done; I look in bad shape and I appear lazy

Some say I is an idiot that my love is too crazy,

Yes I work in strange ways and yes more often I should take a bath,

But I promise you my love will have the last laugh,

So we are still here and now

And been through some problematic plough

You now know the worst of me,

But guess what you only explored the root of this apple tree,

I will give you everything you want as votive,

I thought I knew impatient, help me help us move forward and tell me your motive

Seriously though and no joke YO for god sake don’t add no more to this list

The person writing it down has a pain in his wrist.

I love you.

An RSM's Visit

A Visit to the RSM

“Come on Mark, GO on have a drink! You are on your last day. What is the worst that could happen?” the chef said.

Almost 3 months prior

The orders of a ‘two can limit,’ were the orders of ‘The Man’. You know the one that pulls the strings within the top echelon of any system.  ‘Two cans’ was the limit and let’s say my friends and I ignored this rule, and I got caught. I had to see ‘The Man’ himself. This was a visit to which I was no stranger throughout my adolescence.

Every time I had this visit, the same concerns would haunt me during the build up. Mark you have really done it this time! I would think.  Thankfully ‘The Man’ was busy and the sentence was abrupt and delivered quickly.

“3 months drinking ban! Now get out of my sight”, or words to that effect.

I was under strict observation and expected to screw up. ‘The chief,’ my sergeant, had expressed the importance of not giving our ‘unit’ any more bad labels.

Our sergeant! ‘The chief’ and the mother figure of our unit.

 “I will be very disappointed Sapper Brooker, IF you do not take this warning seriously,” the sergeant said.

 At the time I did think it must be hard to be close to the lads and still have to play that motherly role. Instinctively, considering that he had emphasised that he would be disappointed; not mad, not angry, but disappointed!

For the majority of the punishment I had taken the warning seriously, observing each successful day lift weight from my sergeant’s shoulders, for I was his responsibility. That was something I learnt very quickly within the forces. Everyone within the forces is your family and when one messes up the effects are felt by all, no matter how insignificant one may feel.

            My engineer unit were responsible for the maintenance along sector 2 of the green line and occasionally had to carry out patrols.

The green line was the border line which the United Nations controlled in Cyprus. It was a 112 mile line established in 1974 by the United Nations, following the Turkish invasion of Cyprus.

My last day of my punishment and all we had to do was a few stags! I say stag, but this was no boring patrol. A joy ride would be more of a suitable description. A ‘112 mile’ dirt track, where time stands still.

I had got my best lap time yet, surely! I thought.

Everyone raced the green line.

Just imagine, a ‘4x4 L200 Mitsubishis,’ a dirt track very similar to ‘The Rally Monte Carlo,’ and us, ‘the two soldier operatives’. The orders are for the operatives to patrol to a check point about 12 miles away and back, in a 4x4 on a dirt track; people talk of dealing with temptations.

There are speed signs of 50 km, but no one takes any notice of them.

So yes, I was a little concerned when my fellow engineer companion, ‘the co-driver’ of the 4x4 vehicle, said that he spotted in the rear view mirror, a figure come running from hedge line waving his stick with the look of horror emanating from his aura as I dashed across the open section of the course.

There are only a few characters that carry around pace sticks; I had met one of these characters just shy of three months ago. 

The other two were even higher up the pyramid.

This was not a good feeling my friend had created. On one hand my companion could be lying and showing him any sign of fear would give him great power over these emotions I currently felt scratching my stomach walls. On the other hand, if this were true; well it could not be true; I did not even want to consider that outcome. There was no way that outcome would infect my mind, not this moment anyway. This moment I was a new me; I was on the yellow brick road; the road to recovery; I was alert; I was, I was responsible? Nah! Surely not, but then my superiors were looking at me with a different light, like I had been saved from the dark wayward waters of waywardness. ‘The Man’ was looking to me as the example of how the right punishment can cause fruition.

I finished the stag and headed for my room.

I decided to ignore what my friend had said, in fact I was doing the complete opposite of what my companion intended. Rather than dwelling on, ‘I may of or may not have been caught,’ I was dusting the dust from my halo in my minds eye. Three long months I had worked hard; I was soon to be the shining example of how a soldier ought to act.

No sooner had I been dusting my halo, I was also pondering how I could spend my last night being that all the other engineers were out on the lash. All that remained in the blocks were a few others on a drinking ban; and the chefs.

The chefs cook our food, no defences needed, they keep themselves to themselves. Everyone keeps friendly with them because they cook the food.

The chefs worked hours that meant whilst others were sobering up in their beds, they were preparing breakfast and the meals for the rest of the day.

The chefs were the early birds.

My last night of punishment, the chefs decided to have a drink in their room and had summoned me. I say that because the pressure led left me no choice, such quips as ‘you are suppose to be an engineer,’ and ‘I thought you engineers laughed in the face of fear.’

There was no doubt in my mind that I was caught by the devil’s hook. All I had is was one day left.  I had spent the most of the 3 months rehabilitating and improving my abilities as a soldier. I was the new example of how even the most rebellious of souls can be transformed. Then there was still the fact I was representing my unit of engineers. Engineers are well known throughout the forces for their drinking games. I did not want to tarnish what it meant to be an engineer of the corps deep down. I did what any true engineer would have done. I took the moment by the horns and I went back into the wayward waters or waywardness.

An engineer requires a clever balance in chemistry.

“Come on Mark, GO on have a drink! You are on your last day, what is the worst that could happen?” the chef said.

So I did.

I met up in their room and remember the very first bottle of port opened.

That’s all I remember.

About eight neglected hours pass.

Sun light pierced the gaps between my curtains and amazingly I stirred in my own pit.

 “Get up!” My sergeant said, “The RSM would like to see you in his office at 08.30 hours sharp.”

There’s nothing worse than suffering from slight amnesia after a binge the night prior to awakening.

“The RSM…” I muffled all kind of tantalizing thoughts attacking me.

“The RSM would like to speak to you about how you feel that you are above everyone and can treat the green line as your own personal Monta Carlo”

“Err Chris…I was speeding, but not travelling that fast.”

“The RSM’s said that the UN flag pole on the vehicle was bent and parallel to the floor, not the flag! The pole!”

My stomach made a noise; my heart skipped a beat…I remember considering the thought of having to spend the whole tour not even being allowed to visit the island….next were the thoughts of the chance of being charged, a curse that follows you everywhere.

“Relax!” the sergeant said. “You are lucky I have got your back.  I told him I was already aware of it and that I have punished you already.”

“Thanks,” I relieved.

I had no time to wash if I wanted breakfast; I squeezed a little toothpaste into my mouth to disguise the smell of alcohol, got dressed and headed to breakfast.

Whilst in breakfast, I felt an overwhelming sensation of paranoia, like the whole universe was looking at me. I studied everyone’s face, there was definitely something going on and it involved me. I considered that news did travel fast and decided that maybe everyone knew that I was in trouble again.

As I was at the hot plate, I saw the two chefs I had been drinking with.

“I cannot even remember how I got to my room last night!” I uttered.

They smiled; the body language was very false. Something was not running true.

“I been told I have to see the RSM. I hope he does not smell alcohol on me,” I informed them. Sure, throw them a little gossip, see their reactions, I thought.

“Really! Well good luck!” one of the chefs abruptly said, delivered with a deceiving smile.

There was definitely something peculiar about their whole demeanour. I decided not to read too much into it and headed away toward to the dining area where all the soldiers sat to eat.

“Bye then,” I said.

I looked over to see my fellow engineers at our usual table by the coffee machine, eating their breakfast. I sat down and began to eat. Everyone was quieter than usual, so I decided to inform them that it was the RSM that had spotted me speeding down the green line. They all simultaneously looked up, looked at me then looked at each other. I studied their faces. Usually I would consider a laugh or a little banta (forces word for mockery) my way, but nothing.

“Ok…what’s going on?” I demanded, studying their every facial expression.

“Did you get up late this morning?” Gimp said.

Gimp was the fellow co-driver from the stag that initially informed me of the figure waving the stick in the rear view mirror.

“Yes, in fact I did, Gimp! I squirted some toothpaste in my mouth and came straight here.

They all looked at each other. It was like there was some kind of conspiracy going on. I felt my face for stubble, as I had decided to sacrifice having a wash to make it in time for breakfast.

“I can’t feel any stubble. Do you think the RSM will notice I haven’t had a shave?” I asked.

“You look like you have… had…a…SHAVE, I wouldn’t worry,” Geordie smirked.

I thought that he was smirking only because I could get away with shaving for a good four days. It was Geordie’s way of having a dig at the fact I did not produce the correct levels of testosterone which left my stubble growing in patches.

“Haha ha ha! We are not all cavemen like you Geordie and hit puberty at the age of six,” I countered.

They all give off a slight but controlled humour.

“Whatever! You lot confuse the hell out me at times, constantly conspiring against me.”

Paranoia was getting to me.

 I looked at my watch.

 I had 10 minutes before I had to be in front of the RSM.

“I’ll see you girls later! I got a date with the RSM!” I laughed.

Not wanting to give away any indication of being at all bothered, when inside all kind of chemical reactions were igniting, only made clear to myself, as my body’s thermostat was malfunctioning causing me to have cold sweats.

I left them giggling to themselves. Soon as I left, I felt my ears burning, but I had other concerns right now! I had a date with the infamous RSM who everyone was scared of.

The RSM was notorious for dealing with all forms of discipline. This was one of the very first things one learnt when filtering through basic training. I was not too concerned though, as my sergeant assured me that he had my back and that it would just be a verbal warning of the dangers.

I entered the HQ which consisted of a two floor building. The lower floor was where all the clerks worked and officers that dealt with the politics; on the second floor only rumours were known of what went on amongst the lower ranks. There were only two ways a low rank would be required to walk up the stairs in the lobby - for commendation or condemnation. To get any form of commendation one had to do some serious butt kissing; so most, if not all soldiers only see the second floor for a good verbal grilling.

 The stairs were lined with yellow lines. Crazy how the forces have to comply with little health safety rules, I thought.

 As I ascended, I spotted a full body mirror at the very top. Perfect! This would allow me to ensure I looked half decent, I grinned.

I briefly looked into the mirror, straightened my beret, and then knocked on the RSM’s door.  Hold up!

Something did not look right, the symmetry of my face or something, I thought.

I looked back into the mirror and to my horror I had been robbed.

I only had one EYEBROW

“Come in,” said the RSM.

Those little devils, I thought.